The Twilight Saga: New Moon

At a party thrown by her vampire acquaintances, Bella slices open her finger, her tasty blood nearly turning her into an hors d’oeuvre on her birthday. Vampire boyfriend Edward decides he must part company with Bella . . . forever . . . for her own safety. Bella, utterly wrecked by her sparkly boyfriend’s departure, engages in a creative array of self-destructive behaviors, stringing hunkalicious Jacob along and making him miserable until she has to run off and save Edward from his own quest for self destruction.

The ClearPlay Factor

ClearPlay removes a couple of religious exclamations, some other mild obscenities, and a couple of scenes that show how to really kill a vampire. No matter what settings I used, ClearPlay, could not find Jacob a shirt.

Should I Howl For This New Moon?…

If you’re a fan of the Twilight series, you’ll probably enjoy this movie, and you should stop reading now. Okay, I’m not the target audience for this film, but c’mon! Does anyone enjoy watching two hours of such morose, melancholy people deliver ooey-gooey lines with unnecessary, Shatner-worthy, dramatic pauses? The film barely has a plot. The main characters are monochrome and depressing. The romance is tepid and, quite frankly, unhealthy. I don’t get it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must run for cover.

Brian Fuller— Chair of the ClearPlay Find A Shirt For Jacob Foundation

Rated PG-13 for some violence and action.; 130 min; Directed By Chris Weitz